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View Full Version : [Voting] Literature of the week #15



Gir
Dec 11th '16, 09:45 PM
http://i.imgur.com/rs6C9Ey.jpgLiterature of the week



Alright Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time to vote for your favorite entry our contestants made on the theme:
"Family"



Remember, you can only vote for one entry so choose wisely.

The criteria on which you should probably judge the entries are:

Creativity
Originality
Impact on the reader (yourself)



Entry#1

- A family tragedy -

She is pregnant with twins. Mother said devastated.

Oh my. the children replied, covering mouth with their tiny hands.

Pregnancies is a journey of bliss.

Is sister sleeping? One child asked.

Oh-so wonderful it is.

Is sister crying? Another asked.

As long as you bear no twins.

Your elder sister needs rest. Mother hushed.

Pregnancies are indeed a wonderful thing.

"Mother, I hope they divorce."

-

I will be due in a week. Scarlett answered over the phone.

I will be in Town tomorrow. I love you. Please, can I pick up tomorrow? Thomas plead.

No, mother is keeping me home because she fears my death.

They wont be girls, I promise.

You cant promise that, Thomas! Scarlett cried and hang.

Why was she married to a stupid hunk anyway, he knows nothing. You cant dodge a prophecy, no one could.

Scarlett looked at her phone. It was pretty old and the latest version of iPhone 46s was just around the corner. She pinched her arm as hard as possible, Immediate tears rolled down her cheeks.

I am alive she whispered to herself smiling.

-

Thomas ran his fingers through his hair. Stress had overwhelmed him. He had never heard of such weird superstitions. Twins could do this.

He shook his head in attempt to forget but the fortunetellers words rang through mind.

You are pregnant. Congratulations!
The pregnancy is a journey of bliss.
Oh-so wonderful it is.
As long as you bear no twins.
Pregnancies are indeed a wonderful thing.'

Thomas reached his bag and pulled a piece of paper. Written on it was the message all couples fear.

1 daughter + 1 son = broken marriage
2 sons = death father
2 daughters = death mother.

"They won't be girls." Thomas breath hitched. He cried.



Entry#2
This golden knot
Tied my free spirit
And locked me up
With responsibilities unwanted.

We speak like strangers
no sign of understanding
Or care in the air.
Though we have lived
In the same house for years,
What he says, I do not understand.

Bruises stain my body red
And tears, my face.
My heart fears him, for he makes it weep
And ache of loneliness.

Then came a child,
A bright seed
A beautiful curse
To free me from loneliness
But chaining me to this house
Like an anchor of a ship.

The seed blossomed beautifully,
Running and playing around my knees,
Laughing gleefully.

The child grew older
And then came the change of tides
No more did she call me mommy.
No more did she need her mommy.

This child I built to my design
Yet what she loves, I cannot share.
Abandoned by my darling daughter
All I can do is blankly stare
As my life falls apart

Dodging her explosive outbursts,
And the beast crouched behind his eyes,
I'm dancing on a minefield.
My blue black body,
Each night gaining a new mark
And my ripped heart,
Each day gaining a new scar

My burnt self
Lost the will to live
The cuts and bruises going too deep

Failure haunts me.
Failure of satisfying him
Her
The world
Myself
Begging to be loved
But never even looked at
I fear failure,
so I fall.

Now my terrified hands,
ringed with regrets of never being loved,
Shudder hoping
Death would free me from the torturous shackles
that tied my soul to the rock bottom
That exists beyond the rock bottom.



Entry#3
The fog sprawled across the coast, meddling with the stormy sea, which had taken a deep blue-grayish color, as if mirroring the sky above. Zahra was looking at the sea from the car window, her breath steaming up in the winter cold, before the woman driving the car noticed and closed the window. Zahra didnt mind the cold though. It had become her second nature, a sensation so familiar that went by unnoticed. The streets were bright and empty, hardly anyone walking around on the cold Christmas evening. She turned her gaze to the sea once more, trying to reminisce the time when she was happy, but all she could recall lately was the beginning of the end.

It was a nice autumn day when her mother returned from her sisters school without her by her side. Her father screamed and cried, bombing, the school, the children, but Zahra did not understand. Her mothers eyes though, empty and cold, made her comprehend what words could not convey. Her sister would never come back. Thus, their journey begun. Hot days, cold nights, walking through unknown lands, tired, exhausted but still together. No matter how bad things got, she could always crawl up into her mothers arms and that was her comfort.

One day, little Zahra had lost count how many have passed since they left their home, her mother told her that they will have to cross the sea. Her face brightened up at the endless blue, sparkling gold from the sun rays waters, that spread around. Her enthusiasm however, did not last long. The captain had them crammed in a small cabin inside the ship, along with many others, not able to go out on the deck. The night was stormy; Zahra could hardly get any sleep, with the old boat beating against the waves, the damp and cold reaching all the way into her bones. A strong shake and Zahra saw people pushing, heard screams and felt the cold water reaching her feet. Her mothers strong grip pulled her into the deck, the rain whipping her face, the wind blurring her vision. The ship had crushed into a small reef, its right side being torn apart by the waves, starting to sink into the raging waters.
"We have to get off", said Zahras father and put a tiny life jacket on her. He mother took her in her arms, and looked her into the eyes.
Dont let go.

A moment later a huge wave knocked both into the sea; Zahra felt the freezing waters engulfing them, her mother struggling to stay in the surface. Zahra tried to stay into her arms, not let go, by she was powerless against the sea. She witnessed her mother being carried away by the water, drawing under the waves, but she could not follow her, he tiny life jacket keeping her stubbornly in the surface. She looked for her father, but there was nothing but deep, dark sea around her. She cried, she screamed for hours, before she gave into the cold, waiting for the end to finally come and there at the end of all hope, she felt strong, warm arms pulling her out of the water.

We are almost there, said the woman driving the car and Zahra returned to the present. She recalled the man that rescued her. He often visited her in the orphanage where she ended up, and even though she could hardly understand him, he made her feel like she still had someone in this world. After a while, the visits became scarcer and he, like everyone she loved, disappeared from her life. A stranger in a strangers land, Zahra felt unwanted, uprooted, alone.

We are here, smiled the woman at her and took her inside a small, warm house. The man was waiting in the living room with a woman to his side. He came closer to her and kneeled to reach her height.
Zahra, my wife and I have adopted you. From this day on, we will be your family, he spoke in her language and took her into his arms. In that cold Christmas day, Zahra felt love warming her heart once again.




Entry#4

Brothers

"Are you quite finished?", asked the man standing in the door with a bottle of beer in each hand.
"Hey some of us have to wear suits at work.", the other man replied over his shoulders.
The first man rolled his eyes and sighed: "Then watch the game in your suit Mr. Business-Guy."
"Sure, and then I'll spill beer all over it. No thanks." was the answer he got from his brother who seemingly had finally found what he was looking for.
A purple sports jersey with white sleeves.
While he watched him putting it on he started to open the beer bottles: "Should have gotten yourself a better Job then."
Finished, the now fully dressed man walked towards him, extending his arm to grab one of the bottles: "Sam, I earn twice as much money as you do."
The man in the door, named Sam responded with a cocky grin and the words: "More money doesn't mean that you have a better Job."
He further explained his point with: "I get paid to sit on a comfy chair, watch girls in Bikinis which seem to consist of less and less fabric from year to year and once in a while save some tourists from drowning in knee deep water."
"Nice Mr. Hasselhoff and the other 3/4 of the year you sit in front of a computer and wait for some idiot to call and ask you how to write an e-mail."
"Which doesn't requiere me to wear pants."
Sam replied before raising his bottle.
His brother opened his mouth but didn't say anything before closing it again. He gave an aknowledging nod and raised his bottle as well: "Point taken. Cheers."
"Cheers", Sam replied which resulted in both of them drinking more than just a sip of beer.

After that they gave each other a hug like only brothers can.

"It's good to see you Lex." Sam said. "It's sure has been too long." Lex answered.
They let go of each other and and left Lex's Room, finding themselves on the corridor leading towards the living room.
Said Living Room was their destination as that was were the TV was and the TV was were they planned to watch the game on. Obviously.
But first: "I'll be right with 'ya. I'll just kiss my kids goodnight first." Lex explained before opening another door next to his rooms.
It was dark inside except for the bedside lamp of little "King" Arthur were Evelyn, Lex'es wife was reading a story for the boy.
His younger sister Molly was already sleeping tight.

Sam stood in the door, again, and watched his brothers family together.
It should have been a heartwarming sight. Two precious children, a loving and beautiful wife reading for them and his brother himself who also did really well in that whole parenting-business.
And yet, something seemed off.
Little Arthur had red-rimmed eyes making it obvious that he had cried not too long ago and Evelyn sounded kind of tired and cheerless too while she read out of the fairytale book.
Only Lex himself seemed unphased by all of this as he kissed his son and daughter on the forehead and his wife on the cheek. It didn't take long until his brother was back outside, closing the door behind him.
"How are they doing?", Sam asked while they continued onwards to the living room.
Only now Lex sighed a bit before he explained: "Well, Arthur took it pretty hard and Molly... I think she is too young to understand everything that has happened. That might be for the best. But let's forget that for the moment. I wanna enjoy this evening man."
"Sure thing." Sam replied diplomatically.

Once the game started it didn't take long until the mood started to lighten up again.
Despite being the Underdogs, the Team they were cheering for managed to be in the lead by two goals before the first half ended.
There was beer, banter, dirty jokes and a really good game, what more could one ask for?
Well how about even more beer?
Because the bottles they had brought to the couch with them were all but empty.

"I'll get more Beer.", Lex explained. Sam gave his brother a pat on the shoulder.
"You do that. I'll be here." Instead of patting the shoulder he then proceeded to give it a soft squeeze as he made eye contact with his brother, smiling at him.
"I'll always be here."

Lex smiled back at him, remaining silent before he stood up from the couch.
He didn't get very far before running into his wife.
Evelyn already wore her pyjamas which in her case, ment one of Lex's shirts and a pair of not-matching socks.
Lex wanted to pass her but she moved in the way, leaving him with a confused expression.
"Whats wrong?" he asked her. She remained silent for a few moments, her dark eyes examining his face. Only then she asked: "Are you okay?"
What a dumb question. Of course he was okay. After all: "Yeah we are 3:1 in the lead and..."
He stopped, not able to continue the sentence.
He looked into the eyes of Evelyn, so full of compassion before he turned his head to look over his shoulder towards the empty couch he had been sitting on for almost 50 minutes, all alone.

Lex looked back at his wife: "I...it's just... Eve, I really miss my brother."
Not wasting a single second she pulled him into a tight embrace. His knees were suddenly weak and his body was shaking slightly as tears made their way down his cheeks.
"I miss him so much."
"I know..." , she whispered in his ear while stroking the back of his head.*
"I know..."



Entry#5
The door opened and tiny footsteps were heard across the wood tiled floor.
- 'Welcome home son, how was school?' - came a voice from the end of the hallway, out of the kitchen.
- 'Fine' - said the kid with a nonchalant voice, used to that question everyday.
- 'You don't look fine' - a peering face said out of the kitchen, examining the boy's face. He had a bruise on his left eye and dirty clothes. The boy quickly turned his face the other way so his dad couldn't see it, but it was too late.
- 'Come on Alex, what happened? You know you can talk to me' - the dad walked towards the boy, cleaning his hands on the apron and crouching near him with a concerned, empathic face.
- 'They ... they said mom is gone, again, and ...' - Alex stopped, with teary eyes, afraid to proceed.
- 'It's okay son. I'm not going to get angry. What happened next?' - dad started wiping his kid's tears out of his face.
- 'I pushed him and threw him to the ground' - Alex sniffed, comforted by his dad concern.
- 'We both know that's not a good way to solve things' - Alex frowned and looked down - 'buuut' - dad chuckled - ' I hope the other kid has more than a bruised eye then' - Alex gave a little smile. Dad put his hand on his kid's hair and shook it around, messing it all up.
- 'Daaaaaad!' - Alex pushed his father away with a shy smile on his face - 'We both know your mother and I love you very much, Alex. No matter what happened to your mom, I want you to know that. We'll never stop loving you'
- 'I know dad ... but thanks' - Alex hugged his father, and he responded in the same way, hugging him tenderly and smiling.
- 'Enough about that! I bet you're hungry. Do you want some pancakes? They're still warm.' - Alex jumped out of his dad's arms and ran straight to the kitchen. He sat on the table, waiting for his dad to put the pancakes on his dish, that was already in front of him with a fork beside it.

There was honey, hot chocolate and strawberry jam in the middle of the round table, with rays of sunlight passing through the window and reflecting off the glassy surfaces of the jars. The kitchen was cosy, tidy and warm, with clean marbled counters, a dishwasher, a stove and a fridge.
Arthur grabbed the pan with the pancakes and put 3 for Alex, and 3 for himself, in a dish on the other side of the table.
- 'Do you have homework?' - Alex nodded while stuffing his mouth - 'Mhm' - he grabbed the hot chocolate and poured more in his dish.
- 'A lot or ...?' - insisted Arthur. Alex looked at his dad and shook his head - 'No, it's just some math, I can do it fast ... can I go play outside after I finish?' - Alex said eagerly, moving his legs up and down with the excitement of playing outside.
- 'I was thinking that we could visit your mother today, you know. It's been some time since we went there' - Arthur pondered, looking at his son that raised his head and frowned a bit - 'I don't like it there dad, it's all so ... sad. And it has a weird smell'
- 'I know, but it'll do us good to visit her. It always does, you'll see.'

The sun was almost setting, and the sky was yellow around the horizon, preparing itself for receiving the shiny fiery star. There was a gentle breeze in the field, carrying the sweet scent of the well tended flowers dispersed in colorful groups around the garden. In it's east side, the white wall of a building reflected the last rays of sunlight, with multiple windows in the first floor and a bigger, spaced ones in the ground floor. There was a big double door making way to the garden, with a path of pebbles curving and spreading out into other paths.
In the middle of the garden, various white chairs and tables stood in the fading shade of a big willow tree. Alex and Arthur approached one, holding hands, with somber faces and a thin, forced smile. A lady with dark hair and a white gown sat on one of the chairs by herself, back turned to dad and son.

- 'Hello' - approached the little boy, carefully, but looking at the lady with expectant, hopeful eyes. She had big green eyes, same as Alex, delicate, thin eyebrows, small nose and shiny lips, altho her mouth was a little twisted on the right corner, giving the appearance she was smirking. Her skin was almost as pale as the white wall of the building, and she was staring coldly into the distance before noticing the child.
- 'Hello little man, what are you doing here by yourself?' - she gave an adorable, loving smile.
- 'I'm not here by myself, dad is right here with me' - Alex pointed to his father while he sat on the table, across the lady.
- 'Oh, good good, wouldn't be good if a sweet boy like you were alone' - she noted and nodded - 'you have an adorable son, Mister ...?' - she looked at Arthur and waited for his reply.
- 'Mill. Arthur Mill.' - he said looking at her directly, with his mouth twitching and teary eyes, shutting his hands tight and closing them with so much strength the bones cracked.
- 'Mill ... that name is quite familiar, but I don't know why. And what's your name, my darling?' - she turned back to the kid, who couldn't hold it as good as his dad and tears were streaming down his face - 'oh my, what's wrong? What happened? There's no need to cry'.
- 'You don't remember us, do you?' - she looked puzzled - 'Why, have we met before? I'm sorry, but I can't recall your faces. And I'm quite good with faces'
- 'It was nice seeing you again, Helen' - Arthur cleared his eyes and turned to his son - ' we wish you well. Come now Alex, lets go home'. Upon hearing this, Helen shivered and straightened up.
As the kid got up clumsily from his chair, Helen grabbed his arm and he turned to her. Her eyes were all teary, her shiny lips were trembling and she was shaking.
- 'Alex? Son? ... Arthur?' - she looked back and forth, from Alex to Arthur and back again.
Arthur gasped and covered his mouth, eyes wide open. Alex hugged his mom tightly and Arthur joined in their warm, loving embrace, while the sun set in the horizon and the wind blew cold with the sweet scent of flowers.




If anyone notices anything wrong (Technical issues, not mental state of contestants. We do not judge.) send me a PM about it and I'll see what I can do about it.

Nekomamushi
Dec 11th '16, 09:47 PM
Nooooooo!! I literally had one paragraph left!






































:maybe

Gir
Dec 11th '16, 09:51 PM
Nooooooo!! I literally had one paragraph left!






































:maybe

:wut

Send it in and i'll add it. :maybe

Matternativ
Dec 11th '16, 10:37 PM
What does it say about us that ALL the Storys were freaking sad? xd

I didn't lik #1 (https://www.opbforums.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) , however #2 (https://www.opbforums.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) and #3 (https://www.opbforums.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) are really, really great.
I have yet to make up my mind which of these two entries I should vote for.

Cel
Dec 12th '16, 09:50 AM
Voted for #3 (https://www.opbforums.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3)

Aertes
Dec 12th '16, 11:28 AM
What does it say about us that ALL the Storys were freaking sad? xd


We are all just broken things. :wow:

Five entries, is this real life??

#1 (https://www.opbforums.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) Oh mother death. It was okey-ish the "prophesy" part could have been more elaborated.
#2 (https://www.opbforums.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) I am rarely fond of poems, but this one was really good, emotionally strong, I just felt the pace at some parts was off.
#4 (https://www.opbforums.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=4) Felt the introduction was sliiiiightly dragged, but I liked the overall development, it was well written and the 'plot twist' at the end was unexpected and very strong emotionally imo. The hype was real :maybe
#5 (https://www.opbforums.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=5) Nice development, well written, the father-son moments were heartwarming, but on this one I feel like the end was sliiiightly rushed, or maybe in contrast with 4 it wasn't that strong, but kinda expected.

I will re-read 4-5 later and decide on the vote.
Great almost month week this one with an unexpected theme, I liked all the entries, I suppose Gir's attempt to make us write happy, jolly stuff failed, but he pushed us into something good after all xd

Indigo
Dec 12th '16, 04:41 PM
I may be a bit biased towards poems but I liked #2 (https://www.opbforums.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) a lot!!

Min
Dec 14th '16, 03:19 PM
1.
I liked the story a lot, unlike other people. I think if I had a go on it, I would change slightly. Whilst the open ending is fun for anyone to imagine what happen next, but I believe some actual horror slash miracle would have been more fitted. That would be so cool.

Nicely done! :yosh:

2. I'm a sucker for poems and this one, gosh. The feels! From uncomfortable to tense to reaching its peak and then degrading and rising up. I hope I make sense because that read kind of got me in a roller coaster. ^^ I feel so bad for her, I wish we could have supernatural powers to see these burden of people. Too many people suffer on their own.

Well done! :hug:

3. I cannot express how much I love this entry. Honestly, it was just like #2 a rollercoaster, I could imagine this happening, it was as if I was that little girl. You wrote it very beautifully.

That was super! <3

4.

The jokes at the beginning reminded me of a Luffy/Ace brotherly AU fanfic that I have read. Had me smiling like a fool, and the sarcasm at the end was so weird. Made me laugh a little bit, but definitely not the ending wasn't what I had hoped for. All in all, it was actually heartwarming.

Great job! :swag:

5. What the F did I just read? xd That was some horror towards the ending. Honestly if it wasn't for another entry I believe I would have chosen this one. The very beginning of father & son conversation was really nice to read. I enjoyed that, it reminded me of a Sanji / Zeff AU fic that I have read. I really want to know what happened after, is Alex the only one that sees her or does his dad too? Idk if it was meant to be creepy, but it certainly did scare me.

Keep it up! :yosh:



https://media.giphy.com/media/127AQCqGlTbdfO/giphy.gif

GUYS!! IM REALLY PROUD!! :tears: So many entries and all of them are so well written and good!

Seems like we could use some votes though ... *tags everyone from her friendlist* VOTE! please :pwease:

Stein
Dec 14th '16, 09:25 PM
I am the opposite case compared to Indigo so picking #3 (https://www.opbforums.com/forums/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) :smile

Overhaul
Dec 15th '16, 07:05 PM
1 was an interesting plot, but felt like it lacked development and a strong ending compared to the other stories.

2, I like poems, but I'm a sucker for rhymes ... this one didn't have many, despite being a strong subject.

3 good story, reminded me of the refugee situation. Some spelling mistakes (ophone?) and sentence construction drew me off a bit.

4 was a jolly, cheerful one until it took a dark turn. I was like "oh no" near the end. Felt for him. I liked the brother's banter at the beginning, which made the ending much harder.

5 had a cute beginning, nice development and good details. I just felt that the ending lacked more focus, focus that the rest of the story had. Essential focus to end it strong.

Outlaw
Dec 16th '16, 08:30 PM
Not really into this thing, since I was tagged in. Yeah, I actually read it all and yes it was a good read. : )

...Since I had to choose one "Entry 5th" took the win for me.

Gir
Dec 18th '16, 04:39 PM
Last minute bump here!

Nekomamushi
Dec 18th '16, 07:12 PM
Voted for numero fouro :sir: