View Poll Results: Which entry is your favorite?

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  • Entry #1

    3 37.50%
  • Entry #2

    1 12.50%
  • Entry #3

    1 12.50%
  • Entry #4

    1 12.50%
  • Entry #5

    2 25.00%
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  1. #11
    Senior Member SniperKing's Avatar
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    5 entries? What's happening here?

  2. #12
    Common Sense Tingling Shaki's Avatar
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    Eh i didn't really like any one of these, i thought they were too obvious at points or under developed at other.

    I felt the topic (7 deadly sins) was forced on some occasions.

    I saw genuine feelings from #4 and #5

    The poem was a bold move but i think it crumbled under it not having enough depth

    I didn't relate to #1 and #3 and thought of them as just average stories that didn't have enough originality

    Oh forgot to say why i'm going to vote 5.

    Because i saw character development and attachment to the kid.

    Definitely not an original idea though, but better than the rest
    Last edited by Shaki; Aug 17th '17 at 09:48 AM.
    Yeah. That is a gun in my pants. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to see you...

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  3. #13
    Overhaul's Avatar
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    1 - looked good until it turned into 50 shades of gay. Why does everything now need to be pervy guess I shall blame Gir for making "lust" an option moved a bit too fast when the sister made her move too. The narrative seemed slow and detailed before, but it reached an abrupt end

    2 - nice effort behind the poem

    3 - this one was a bit of a sad story. I felt like the narrative sometimes was too rushed, might be because it was supposed to portray the feelings of the man. What I mean is that, the sentences only had 2-3 words. Lacked some impact and detail in it, I suppose.

    4 - what? This one follows the theme at all?

    5 - nice story, following the theme. Altho I feel like some punctuation could have helped in some specific cases
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  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inuarashi View Post
    1 - looked good until it turned into 50 shades of gay. Why does everything now need to be pervy guess I shall blame Gir for making "lust" an option moved a bit too fast when the sister made her move too. The narrative seemed slow and detailed before, but it reached an abrupt end

    2 - nice effort behind the poem

    3 - this one was a bit of a sad story. I felt like the narrative sometimes was too rushed, might be because it was supposed to portray the feelings of the man. What I mean is that, the sentences only had 2-3 words. Lacked some impact and detail in it, I suppose.

    4 - what? This one follows the theme at all?

    5 - nice story, following the theme. Altho I feel like some punctuation could have helped in some specific cases
    There was gay action?


    Went for 3, I think it was emotional, easy and pleasant to read even tho it could have been better structured.
    I also liked the poem, but I feel it was a bit confusing at some parts and the flow was off.
    5 was a bit flat for my tastes

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  5. #15
    Overhaul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aertes View Post
    There was gay action?


    Went for 3, I think it was emotional, easy and pleasant to read even tho it could have been better structured.
    I also liked the poem, but I feel it was a bit confusing at some parts and the flow was off.
    5 was a bit flat for my tastes
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  6. #16
    Stein's Avatar
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    Hmm some interesting reads this time.

    I liked #1 and how it portrayed the sins of lust and wrath, incarnated vividly in each one of the aptly named protagonists. Pothos is the desire aspect of lust, Peitho the seduction part of it while Lyssa is another story whatsoever, this one being the blind, frenzied wrath. Nice pace and immersive style, my only complaint that it all happened a bit too quickly, the word limitation playing a role there I reckon.

    #2 was ok for a poem (I don't like poems in general) and it tried to incorporate quite a few sins in it but I will agree with Shaki about the fact that it felt shallow and I think from the whole of it, the sin I thought it ended up portraying was pride, which I am not sure if it was the original intention. Technique wise poems are more difficult and I had some issues with it in this one.

    #3 was nicely written for the most part and this too managed to be immersive for me and I will disagree with Inuarashi about the length of the sentences being a minus as I feel that contributed towards achieving a fast pace which imo is actually good when one describes the thoughts of a person because that's how they flow normally. I did have some issues with technique tho, just not at that part.
    I had some trouble identifying what sin we were talking about in this one and I think it was sloth? I am still not entirely sure but that's the feeling I got from it.

    As for #4 I liked the style of writing and I enjoyed reading through the first paragraphs. At that point I found myself wondering where the story is going really and how it is fitting to the theme at hand though. Can't say I found an answer to that by the end of it.

    Last but not least #5 I found kinda cliche and in this one I felt the theme was only forced in it rather than the story being written around it. Say, I would much rather its writer had shown us the story from the man's POV instead of the kids and had shown the ugly face of wrath there and not write the whole story to end it with the birth of our protagonist's (justified from the looks of it) wrath, because the way it happened it didn't feel like a sin at all.
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